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A sausage dog called Winston

Sunday 26th June 2022

This diary really is gonna be a train wreck innit. Why am I doing a diary in the one time in my life nothing’s going on? So not only is it gonna be shit, but it’s gonna be much shorter. I guess I could do a Diary of a Wimpy Kid job of it and just make it half pictures, but I’m shit at drawing. A bit ironic really because I took art for GCSE.

Spent most of today sitting in my room and eating paper. I’ve always been called weird for doing that, but paper has a nice texture to it. It’s like chewing gum for retards. Or people who don’t have any chewing gum on them.

Tried doing a bit of drawing to see how it would look. Yeah, not great. Stephen Hawking could do better drawings than that, and he can’t move. He’s also dead, so that’d be a problem too. To be fair to him though, he’d probably have to draw it on Microsoft Paint for obvious reasons, and let’s be honest: no one is good with Microsoft Paint.

My chest has been hurting quite a bit, and I’m worried if it’s because of all the paper I’ve been eating. I’m worried I might die. It’s either all the paper, or the amount of Haribo I had all at once. I shoved them in before I even knew what it was, I was eating. I guess I take after my dad.

My parents went to a BBQ with the dogs. Apparently, it didn’t go very well. One of my dogs is gay apparently. He kept humping this black boy dog who was def and blind. The weird thing is we had his bollocks removed a while ago, and I thought that stopped them being… you know. My female dog on the other hand, kept getting lots of attention from this one sausage dog called Winston. A very weird BBQ indeed.

I accidentally commented on this girl’s post who I have been stalking. I spilt some drink on my phone and it typed something. I would usually feel like chucking myself off a cliff if that happened, but I’ve left that school now, so I see no reason to give a shit. What’s she gonna do, cry about it? Only joking, but to be fair, I do kinda feel like deleting social media after that. I did delete the comment, but they still get the notification don’t they. They’re 100% gonna be laughing at me behind my back. But also I did write a book about being retarded, so my reputation’s kinda fucked anyway. Oh well.

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