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Demons are either weak or lazy

Saturday 12th Mar 2022

My mum was doing ironing this morning. She was wondering why the iron wasn’t doing anything. Turned out she hadn’t turned it on.

Saw a video on YouTube about a guy who made a burger. He didn’t put it in a bun. I didn’t even know that was a thing. Why would you have a burger without a bun? That’s just like eating cereal with no milk. Some people do that though. Weirdos.

I had to pick up a bunch of sticks in the garden left over from the storm so that my dad could cut the grass. There was a lot of them. I got bird poo all over my hand. I had to put them all in the brown bin. The bin had soon filled up, so I started chucking the sticks over into the neighbor’s garden. Don’t think they’ll be too happy.

Got pocket money today, so I spent it on sweets straight away. I got a bunch of gummy worms.

Went to see the new Batman movie today. It was good. It was also 3 hours long. By the time it had finished, I felt like I was going to piss myself. I don’t like cinemas that much. You’re always sat behind the tallest bloke in the world. You can never see anything. Some guy in front of me was on his phone for the first 15 minutes of the film. Knob head.

Stayed up late watching videos. Saw a video that was top 10 ghost sightings or something. All the comments in the comment section were saying “I don’t claim any negative energy” and putting a bunch of crucifix emojis. Don’t know why they bother doing that. What’s that gonna do? It’s not like the demon’s gonna go have a look in the comment section and see they’ve typed that and go “Fuck, guess I can’t kill them”. If demons are real, they’re absolutely useless. The most you ever see in those ghost videos is doors closing and shit falling over. If you come all the way from the pits of hell and all you can do is do exactly the same things the wind can do, what is the point?

I remember I bought a Ouija board because a bunch of people on my bus were saying about how they’re dangerous and all that. I wanted to prove them wrong, so I bought one from eBay. I asked the ghost to possess me and rip my ball off or something and guess what happened. Literally nothing. The demon’s probably still trying. Either that or he’s lazy. Or not real.

I think I might bring my Ouija board into school and try and curse those crystal healing girls for a laugh.

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