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Don’t think it was a good idea to wear a Hawaiian shirt in a storm.

Friday 18th Feb 2022

Today was a really windy day. Storm Eunice was being a knob head and breaking a bunch of shit. I got up, had a shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed and walked to the bus stop. I then got a text message saying school was closed due to the dangerous storm. While walking back I noticed there were practically no cars on the road.

I was sitting in my room when the power turned off. Turned out a big tree had fallen on the power lines on my road. This means I can’t use anything electronic for a while. No oven, no stove, no microwave, no fridge, no hot water, no heating. We also have no water because it’s pumped from the bottom of the garden which takes electricity. This makes taking a shit very difficult because you can’t flush the toilet.

Things were alright in the day, but when it got later, we had to carry around torches and put candles around the house. If the house burns down I’m gonna be pissed off.

My dog is quite excited. He keeps humping my little brother. This is odd behavior because we had his balls removed. I think that’s supposed to make him less… you know.

I’m getting very agitated because I need a piss. I’m also fucking freezing.

Because we can’t cook anything and everything in the fridge is now warm, we decided to go to a restaurant for food. While driving there, I noticed there was a bunch of branches in the road. We had to keep swerving to avoid them.

We then walked from the car park to the restaurant. I don’t think it was a good idea to wear a Hawaiian shirt in the worst storm the UK has had in three decades. On the way from the car park to the restaurant, I saw a bloke who looked exactly like Stephen Merchant. Height and all. Don’t think it was him though.

I hate going to restaurants and public places. I’m always scared I’ll see someone I recognise or vice versa. Not much you can do in those situations. The last time that happened was in Waitrose. I recognised a girl I knew, and she recognised me. She tried to ignore me, which is pretty reasonable. Unlike what I did, which was to call her name across the aisle and run up to her and give her a high five.

I thought I saw her again at the restaurant. Turned out it wasn’t her; she isn’t Asian. To be fair though, she did look exactly like her if she was Asian.

There is a bloke with really dirty hair sitting opposite us. Kinda put me off my food.

I had steak and chips. It was really good. I usually don’t like steak because it gets stuck in my teeth. This time was no exception, but the chips were nice.

The house was freezing when we got back. So were my hands. I went on TikTok because there was no TV to watch. Saw a video promoting testicular cancer awareness. Thought I’d check my balls for cancer. It really hurt because my hands were cold. I guess I’d rather have cold balls than cancer though.

I spent the rest of the day in a cold, dark house. Miserable.

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