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I don’t want some other bloke’s foreskin on my eyes.

Monday 14th Feb 2022

It’s Valentine’s Day today. Not gonna lie, I’m quite jealous of all the couples. To me I guess relationships are like a Lamborghini. You would like one but can’t get one and if you could get one you wouldn’t know what to do with it. They’re also very expensive to keep.

It’s a wet and rainy day so all the worms were out and about. They were all squished on the path. I must have seen at least eight of them while walking to the bus stop. Reminded me of a fact I learned over the weekend. Foreskin is actually a good replacement for eyelids so if I ever lose my eyelids, I can use my foreskin as a replacement. I now want to keep my foreskin in case I do lose my eyelids, I don’t want some other bloke’s foreskin on my eyes.

At break Edward brought in a half drank carton of apple juice and an old Lego Batman game. Apparently, the game is broken and whenever he starts it, it only plays the intro and not the game. I’m concerned he just forgets to press the start button and that the game isn’t actually broken. For some reason the apple juice carton is all in German. There’s not a single word of English on there. It also goes off in 8 months. I think there’s more preservatives than apple juice in that carton.

I wonder if girls ask guys to be their Valentine. Hasn’t happened to me yet. Don’t want to get my hopes up. Joseph asked me to be his, but I don’t think that counts because he’s not gay and he already asked 14 other guys the same thing.

A girl commented on how curly my hair was. She asked if I had a Valentine and I said I didn’t. She then made a weird noise. That’s nothing special though. She has shit taste in guys. Her last boyfriend cheated on her. She’s not my type either.

My watch kept making an annoying beeping noise in English. I yelled at it and called it a fat prick. I got told off. I hate those watches that count your steps. I keep tapping on things because I have autism and it thinks I’m running a marathon.

At lunch Rob said he’d suck Darron's knob for a swig of his Pepsi. It truly is Valentine’s Day.

No one asked me to be their Valentine in the end. I guess it is a stupid tradition anyway.

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