top of page

I fell in a hole while walking to science.

Friday 8th April 2022

I ran out of shampoo this morning, so I had to use bodywash instead. I see nothing wrong with that. I’m pretty sure every bloke in the world has done that at some point.

It’s the last day of term until the Easter holidays. That doesn’t really mean anything to me though because I’m just going to be doing revision for most of the holidays, so it’s not much of a break. I’m going to Scotland for the second week of the holidays, but I doubt that’ll be any good because it’s Scotland. I mean yeah, it looks nice, but that all goes out the window when your balls have shrivelled inside you from the cold. You’re no longer thinking “Oh, what a lovely view”, you’re thinking “Fuck me it’s freezing, I want to go home.”

We did an Easter quiz in form. One of the questions was “How many times could the amount of jellybeans Americans eat at Easter wrap round the Earth?” The answer was 2 times. That’s a complete lie. I reckon one American eats enough jellybeans to wrap round the world at least once.

While walking to history, I got into one of those awkward situations where someone is walking towards you, and they try to get past. They step to one side to get around you, but you do the same thing to get around them. This results in you both continuously stepping in front of each other. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, I tried doing that thing cyclists do when they indicate where they are going to turn on a road. It worked. I am a genius.

I fell in a hole while walking to science. The ground was really uneven, and the grass was really long, so I couldn’t tell. I looked like a right twat.

The girls on my table in art were showing me the prom dresses they ordered. I couldn’t care less.

I saw a sixth former wearing a blue top and no bra. I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra because you could see her… you know. That’s probably the most interesting and exciting thing I’ve seen all week.

I just saw an autistic kid eating his own earwax. I take back what I said earlier, this is probably the most interesting thing I’ve seen all week.

When I got home, a bloke was there to pick up something we sold him on eBay. He stank of onion.

Recent Posts

See All

Sunday 3rd July 2022 Last night was weird as shit. My brother had a mate over, and we all had a laugh and a game of poker. I don’t mean to brag, but I did win a game. Four quid I got. Not bad. That wa

bottom of page