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I spent the next few hours of the day typing BOOBS into my calculator.

Wednesday 27th April 2022

Got my GCSE art exam today. It’s like 12 hours long, so it’ll be stretched across two days. This means it’ll take up all of today and all of tomorrow.


I painted a city scape. I abandoned my original idea of thick black lines of paint for the buildings and used driftwood I painted black instead. I think that fits the theme of texture better. They give us a theme you see, and you have to make an art piece around that theme. I wrote in my sketchbook that I got the driftwood from my holiday to Scotland. I didn’t, I got them from eBay.


We have one of those exam invigilators watching over us. I couldn’t help but notice that all the invigilators I’ve ever had look no younger than 60. Probably because at that age you have nothing better to do than sit in a room for hours and watching people sit an exam.


I had a look what Edward was painting because he’s in my art class. He had large, printed copies of his passport photo on his desk. He said he was going to cut them up and sew them together to make them look like Frankenstein’s monster. That’s actually not a bad idea. Even though he already looks a bit like Frankenstein because he’s just weird looking.


I finished early because sticking wood on a canvas doesn’t take long. I spent the next few hours of the day typing BOOBS into my calculator. You do that by typing 80085 if you didn’t know.


At break, Edward told me he no longer wants to be a librarian when he’s older and wants to be a homeless artist instead. He says he wants to be that because apparently they don’t have to pay taxes. I said being homeless is a shit way to try and save money because they have no money to save. He probably still wants to be one though because knowing Edward, that just went in one ear and out the other.


I told Edward a story about how I had a maths teacher in my old school who got hit in the head with a tuba and could no longer teach us. When I found out, I made a joke saying she had a “brain tuba”. I got told off. Still thought it was pretty funny though. I also told him the story of how I didn’t used to know how people got money when I was younger. I thought you had to buy it. yes, I thought you had to buy money. I asked my dad how much £5 was worth. He said £5. I had no idea where people got money from then. I then thought maybe cash machines gave you free money because my dad would put has card in, press a few buttons, and money would come out. That isn’t the case either. I really was a stupid kid.


I accidentally punched myself in the face. I was trying to pick up my bag, but it wasn’t as heavy as I thought, so I picked it up with too much force. That sent my hand flying towards my face. It hurt quite a lot.

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