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I spent the rest of the lesson squishing the fat kid’s boob

Tuesday 8th Mar 2022

Last night I thought I’d have a go practicing more descriptive writing. I’ve got my GCSE coming up, so I want to be as good at it as possible. It’s a good bit of revision.

I wrote two descriptions. One is a description of shops and the other is about a traffic jam.

This is the one about shops. “There is no place colder than the frozen aisle in a shop. Shops are cold, crowded, always have that rubbish music playing and are always out of stock in that one thing you came for. There’s always that dilemma where you see someone you recognise. In those situations, you can either hide behind one of the displays, or say hi. Both are terrifying. Shopping trolleys are terrible. It’s easier to jump on the back of a bull and not fall off than navigate a shopping trolly. The wheels on those things suck. Might be the reason I always see Tesco shopping trolleys in ditches and rivers. They always run away from you.”

Here's the one about traffic jams.

“There is no place on Earth more painful than a traffic jam. It’s the sound of car horns yelling at each other as if that’s gonna make the lights go green. It’s a time more stressful than anything you’ve ever experienced. They only seem to happen when you’re in a rush to get somewhere. After that, everyone’s then in a bad mood because the traffic was bad. This means everyone starts being a dick to each other as a result. I imagine Satan invented traffic jams to annoy us and turn us insane. Sounds about right. Traffic jams are where dreams go to die.”

You can probably notice I used the same starting to both of them. This is because I was running out of ideas for sentence starters. Aside from that though, I did a pretty good job of accurately describing them I think. I tried writing them about boring things to really test my writing capabilities. Turns out I’m a genius. I think I should write a book.

Apparently, it’s home clothes day on Friday. I wonder what Grace will wear.

We weren’t allowed in the usual area at break. They were having exams in there, so we moved to the science block. One of the year 10s let off a stink bomb in science. They need to stop doing that. It smelled like egg. We went and stood outside in the cold instead.

In skills, my mate showed me this girl that he’s been talking to. She looked alright.

Saw an unopened Wagon Wheel on the floor. It was still in the wrapper, but it was all broken up inside. Luke tried to make me not eat it by saying it was originally his and that he had rubbed his knob on it. I ate it anyway because I was hungry.

Some bloke was showing me his new coat. The zip was already broken.

I spent the rest of the lesson squishing the fat kid’s boob. I reckon he has bigger boobs than all the girls in the year.

Oscar went to the toilet. He was in there for about 15 minutes. When he came back, he shouted “I just took the fattest shit!” I was surprised the teachers didn’t really care.

At lunch, I asked Edward what he wants to be when he’s older. He said he wants to be a librarian because he likes playing about with that red scanner thing they use to beep books when you take them out. He also says they just sit about on their arse all day and don’t have to deal with much stress. Fair enough.

I bought Edward a birthday present. His party is next weekend.

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