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I wrote a poem about a cross-eyed bloke I saw

Wednesday 23rd Feb 2022

Went for a walk through the local village today for poem ideas. Saw a cross-eyed bloke walking a really small ugly dog. I think it was the same bloke I saw at the bus stop that one time. I wonder how he can see where he’s going. Whenever I cross my eyes, everything goes double. My mum told me if I keep them crossed, I’ll damage my eyes. If that’s true, I’m surprised he isn’t blind. Anyway, I wrote a poem about him. No offence to cross-eyed people by the way.

“Cross-eyed man walking to the shop, pretty sure he’s the same bloke from the bus stop.

Must be weird to have a conversation with a cross-eyed bloke, I wouldn’t stop laughing; they’re funny looking folk.

Probably struggling to look where he’s going, he might walk into a road without knowing.

Cross-eyed man walking his dog who was yapping at birds.

He was also reading a newspaper; don’t know how he could see the words.

He was a normal-looking guy.

That was until you look him in the eye.”

I decided to walk to the park to note down some things I thought might be poem worthy. I saw a middle-aged man watching some girls on the swings. I don’t think he was their dad because the girls then started calling to their dad who was on the other side of the park. I am very suspicious he is a paedophile. He looks like one. He even has that moustache all paedophiles seem to have. I think I’ll write tomorrow’s poem about him.

A small dog ran up to me and dropped a ball at my feet. I threw the ball for it. I think that made my day.

I didn’t really see much else and I was getting cold, so I decided to walk back.

While walking back, I saw two small people walking towards me. At first, I thought they were children, but as they got closer I realised they were old people. I wonder if people get smaller as they get older, or if people just used to be really small back in the olden days. It would make sense if they were. My house is really old and therefore has really low ceilings. It would be a pretty good explanation for why they didn’t need high ceilings, because they wouldn’t keep banging their heads, unlike us. All because they’re shorter. Or maybe people just used to be shit at construction.

Saw a ladybird in my room. I let it crawl on my hand and I put it outside. I think it was the same ladybird that I thought was dead on my floor for about a week. I guess it wasn’t dead and might have just been stuck in my carpet.

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