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Maybe crackheads just all love bowling alleys

Saturday 19th Mar 2022

Had a beer with my brother and talked about girls and stuff. It was nice. I asked him if sex is all it’s hyped up to be. He said it is, but it all depends on who it’s with. You need to do it with the right person. He said if you can’t have a laugh with them, they’re not right because you need to be comfortable with them. I asked him about asking girls out. He said it should be more of a decision than a feeling. Romance isn’t something you look for, but something you find. I’ll remember that.

Went to the bowling party today. While driving there, I saw a crackhead riding a stolen bike. I could tell it was stolen because it was way too big for him. I don’t need to explain how I knew he was a crackhead, they’re pretty obvious to notice.

When I got to the party, I was 20 minutes early. I decided to wait outside. While waiting, a woman came up to me and asked if I had a spare lighter. I said I didn’t. She then walked away and over to her group of friends. They also all looked like crackheads. Maybe they all just love hanging out at bowling alleys.

Eventually everyone turned up. Everyone except Edward. How can you turn up late to your own party? Knowing Edward, I don’t know why I was surprised. Seems like an Edward thing to do. Finally, he arrived.

I was worried we had to put bowling shoes on. I hate bowling shoes, they’re very uncomfortable. Thankfully we didn’t have to.

The bowling place smelled like cigarettes.

Edward was saying he wanted to have the bumpers up. We all made fun of him and said real men play with the bumpers down.

Turns out I’m shit at bowling. I haven’t hit a single one yet. We all made fun of Edward for wanting the bumpers up, but I think I might need them.

My fat friend came to the party as well. When he bent down to roll the ball, I noticed he had a split in his trousers. I thought it’d be funny if we didn’t tell him, but Jack told him anyway.

I came last in the end believe it or not. Nearly all of mine went in the gutters. The 6-year-olds in the lane next to us got a higher score than me. They got a score of 38 and I got a score of 32. In my defence though, they were playing with the bumpers up.

We went to the arcade afterwards. I thought I saw a lesbian couple. Turned out it was just a bloke with really long hair. I didn’t see his beard until he turned around.

All the prizes in the arcade were absolute shit. Can you guess what the top prize for most tickets was? A fucking hairdryer. What kid wants that? Imagine grinding to 8000 tickets and winning a hairdryer. I guess it’s that or a bunch of shitty keyrings.

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