Tuesday 3rd May 2022
It’s my brother’s birthday today. He’s turning 19. I got him a box of sweets and a card that says “With age comes wisdom. And a saggy ballsack. Happy birthday!” I’m sure he’ll love it.
Read an article about a man whose penis fell off. Apparently, it just fell off when he was on the toilet. That would suck wouldn’t it. It had to be attached to his arm before it could be put back on his crotch area because of lack of oxygen or something. He had to wait about 6 years for it to finally be put back on properly. You know how slow the NHS can be sometimes.
I haven’t done a poem in ages. I can’t remember the last time I did one. Might as well write a poem about the bloke whose penis fell off.
“Hubble bubble toilet trouble
Knobless and looking a mess; it would be a shock to see him undress
His knob on his arm and nothing in his pants
The only way forward is knob transplants
Has to wear long sleeve shirts or else there will be an awkward situation
We can’t have it on his arm, let’s put it back to its old location
6 year waiting list
I imagine whenever he goes for a piss, he gets knob juice down his wrist”
Nothing really happened at school today. When I got home, the sex doll and helium canister arrived. Leavers’ day is Friday, so I’m gonna need it for then. That’s only 3 days away. By the way, I’ve decided against asking Grace to be my date to prom. I am going to ask her to dance with me instead. I wonder how that will go.