Tuesday 15th Feb 2022
Found out my mate Martin got a girlfriend yesterday. Mother fucker looks like Jabba the Hutt and still gets more bitches than me. She’s not an ugly one either, but he looks like a walking crisp packet and still managed to get her. To be fair though, I did give him some advice, so I’ll take some credit. But still. Ridiculous!
Thought I’d listen to some Christmas music to cheer myself up. Nothing gets you in a good mood quite like Christmas music, unless you’re one of those knob heads who hates Christmas music. If that is you, you can get in the bin.
In form we played a game of pin the tail on the donkey. Grace had to spin Josh around. I wish I was Josh, she’s quite attractive.
In English, Joseph was making fun of Welsh people. He said they wake up and put their dick in a sheep.
We had to stand up and walk to the front to get sheets. I told Joseph I couldn’t because I had an erection. It was one of those that just come out of nowhere. I told Joseph to go up and get mine for me. He said he couldn’t because he was having the same issue. We couldn’t do the hands in pockets strategy because we needed our hands free to carry the things, so we got someone from a different table to get them for us.
Edward had brought in a skull he had found. I can’t tell what animal it belonged to. Probably a bird or a fox or something like that. I didn’t want to touch it because I didn’t want a disease. Edward was analyzing the skull. He said it has a really long nose and therefore must be a Jew. He really is autistic.
I kept getting bumped into at break. Felt like I was playing bumper cars. People really don’t seem to care.
In skills, the girl who showed me her nudes started doing the worm dance. To be honest with you, she only did this because I told her to because I’m running out of things to write. She then started telling me about her favorite condom flavours. I asked if she liked the strawberry ones and she said she didn’t. She does like the blueberry ones though.
Harry told me about the time he put his dick in a Henry Hoover. I think I need some new friends.
At lunch I found out that most fat people aren’t jolly but miserable. You learn a lot talking to different types of people. For example, a Welsh guy confirmed what Joseph had told me earlier. I’m now quite concerned.
Rob and Joseph were talking about what would have happened if Keanu Reeves wasn’t good at swallowing pills in the movie The Matrix. They said it would have been a great time to stick in an ad for Buxton water bottles to help him swallow it. I don’t think it would have made the movie any better.
In history Edward was talking to Rob about what he does in his free time. Rob asked Edward if he uses Discord, Edward said he doesn’t. In his free time, he looks at his walls. He says they are nice looking walls. He also stares at the bumps on his ceiling and tries to find constellations. To be fair to him though, I used to try and find faces in the marble pattern on my bathroom floor so that’s not very odd to me.