Fri 4th Feb 2022
Had an idea at the bus stop today. They should make a drink that tastes exactly like Calpol. That way I can drink as much Calpol as I want without dying. I think that’d be a genius idea because Calpol tastes amazing, especially the strawberry one, and no one wants to accidentally overdose.
This girl was showing me and my mates her sex videos she recorded with her boyfriend. There was this one video where she was giving him a blowjob and I got confused and said it looked like she was beatboxing. Everyone laughed at me.
In PSHE, Ted started barking at me like a dog. I wonder if he does that to his girlfriend. Wouldn’t be surprised as they act like dogs together anyway; biting each other, sticking tongues in each other’s mouths. Young couples are always weird and annoying. Why does my brother’s girlfriend suck on his neck? He probably needs to wear a scarf in public now. I remember the time I got rejected by a lesbian. Glad that happened, young relationships are hassle.
A girl in class told me her spirit animal was a possum. She definitely looks like one. I honestly think she’s almost as stupid as Edward.
I saw a very small teacher at break. Got told off for saying Warwick Davis was probably taller than her.
Edward brought in a pot plant today. He started eating it. He said he brought it in as a replacement for his mate who was ill today. Don’t know why he ate it though. Now the idiot has mud in his bag.
We looked at the Boyle Family in art today. They made replicas of brick walls and paths. They didn’t even try to do anything interesting with it. It was just a brick wall. I think modern art is stupid. People are running out of ideas and now anything is art. Watching paint dry used to be a saying for boring things, now it’s probably an art exhibit. What a scam.