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Saw a cross-eyed bloke at the bus stop today

Friday 11th Feb 2022

Nearly fell down the stairs and died this morning.

Saw a cross-eyed bloke at the bus stop today. Couldn’t tell if he was looking at me or not.

Ted was making race car noises in form. He sounded like he was having a seizure. It got really annoying very fast.

We did a world map quiz in form. I noticed that Africa looks just like a bigger version of South America. Thought that was interesting.

I also learned that red pandas aren’t actually pandas or even bears. Makes sense, they look more like racoons.

I could see Mark’s arse crack in form. Reminded me of when a plumber comes round your house and bends down to fix your sink.

Rob was picking his nose in history. I joked and said it looked yummy. He thought I was weird.

At break, Edward brought in a very long wooden spoon used for making jam and a Christmas vinyl record. It was The Meaning Of Christmas by Boris Gardiner. He wanted to play bat and ball with them using the spoon as the bat and the record as the ball. He tried scratching the record with a pen to see if it would play. This internally hurt me because I collect records. I ended up stealing it so that he couldn’t smash it to bits. I said instead of bringing in stuff to smash, he should try bringing in something like some eggs and spoons so we can do an egg and spoon race or something.

A girl said she was having trouble reading. She said she needed glasses. I told her that her glasses were on her head. She said they were fake glasses. I think it’s stupid that she needs glasses but wears fake ones.

I sat in glue in science, now I have white stuff on my bum. I now look even more like an idiot.

It’s Friday, that means it’s chip day. That also means the seagulls are out and about. Thought I should go hide in the boy’s toilets but quickly found a bunch of chavs smoking in there. Went and sat in the canteen instead.

They found out I stole the vinyl. They now want it back. They’re not having it back.

The fat kid started breakdancing at lunch. Looked like if you dropped a big piece of jelly on the floor.

In art I had to comfort a girl because she broke up with her boyfriend. I’m very good at making people laugh. When I say that, I mean I’m very good at letting people make fun of me. However, I am told I am very good at comforting people.

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