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Saw a tree that looked like it had herpes. I took a picture of it.

Wednesday 16th Feb 2022

Yesterday my brother saw my bulge in my Spider-Man costume and said I need a bigger penis. What a knob head.

In form I talked to my mates about what they would do if they loved a girl and then found out she had a penis. Ted said he would stop being interested in her. I said I wouldn’t mind because I’m already in love with her. If I knew she had a penis in the first place I probably wouldn’t have gotten interested, but now that I am, I wouldn’t mind. They called me gay. This annoyed me because I don’t think I am.

While getting changed for PE, Rob started talking about how whenever he needs a piss, he can feel it in the end of his knob. I have no idea what he was talking about and neither did any of the other boys. We suggested he go see a doctor or google it.

A guy walked past me in PE. His hair literally looked like if you spilled macaroni and cheese on his head. He looked ridiculous. At least my curly hair looks nice, his makes him look weirder.

In art we were watching a fat bloke walk around.

We went for a walk round school to take pictures of the floor for our texture project. I hate modern art.

I had an itchy foot, so I had to do that thing where you stomp the ground awkwardly to get rid of it.

Saw a tree that looked like it had herpes. I took a picture of it.

I noticed I had bird poo on my shoe. That annoyed me.

A girl said she wanted me to splash in a puddle for her photo. I ended up with wet mud all over my legs and bum. I looked like an idiot. She didn’t even take the photo in the end because she forgot to press the button. It was kinda fun though.

It now feels really uncomfortable to sit down because of my wet trousers. I did try to dry them with paper towels but that only got rid of the mud and not the water. It also made it into my shoes so I’m now squelching around. I now know not to jump in puddles unless I’m wearing boots.

Saw a guy who looked really weird at lunch. Couldn’t tell if he had a really small top lip or big teeth. I think it’s both. He looked like Freddie Mercury. He also had a really big bottom lip to make his top lip look ever weirder.

Some girl kept taking photos of me. She then gave the phone to her friend and told her to take photos of her with me. I felt like a celebrity. I looked like one too in the sense that I looked really awkward and didn’t know why I was being photographed. She probably now has more photos of me than my mum does.

Some chav was blocking the one-way system because he was mucking about and pushing around with his mates. I got told off for being 5 minutes late to maths.

My friend told me about the time he donated £1 of his mate’s money to a charity box. His mate wanted the £1 back so they took the money from the charity box. Seems pointless to me. Not much you can get with £1, so might as well donate it to charity.

I sat on my balls again in science. I swear I did the same thing same time last week. I need to learn how to not do that.

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