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She’d eat anything

Tuesday 29th Mar 2022

There was a moth on the bus this morning. One of the annoying kids had crushed it and was throwing it at people. After he had finished having his fun and being a knobhead, he didn’t really know what to do with it. He said to pass it to some fat girl because she’d eat it. She’d eat anything he said.

In English, we’ve been practicing our creative writing skills for out GCSE. They have been giving us pictures and we have to write a story about them. We were given a picture of an old man looking in a mirror, and in the mirror was a younger, more handsome version of himself. I wrote that he had some sort of new illness that was like the opposite of anorexia where he sees himself as being more attractive than he actually is. I’m pretty good at creative writing.

Got into an argument with that flat Earth kid again. He says he needs to see it to believe it. I said we have seen it and we literally have photos of it. He says he needs to see it in person because he thinks it’s edited footage. I got fed up with him and said, “Well you’ve never seen wet pussy, doesn’t mean it’s not real!” He said he has seen it in porn. I mocked him by saying it might be edited footage. I can’t believe how much I absolutely shat on him.

Edward brought in a top hat. It was one of those magician’s hats with a compartment in the top to put a rabbit in or something. I tried it on. I looked like Willy Wonka because of my curly hair. When Edward put it on, he looked more like the Monopoly man minus the moustache.

I quite like this hat. It’ll help prevent more birds from shitting on me. I need to buy a hat. I’d quite like a fedora. I’ve always been a fedora type of guy.

I think Edward has started bringing his rubbish in again. What a relief. I was starting to get really bored. He did say that the charity shop where he gets most of his rubbish from is shutting down though. That’ll suck. At least he’ll still have his bin from home to get his stuff from.

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