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She stank of sweat.

Friday 11th Mar 2022

Woke up to a text message from the gay kid I sit next to in PE. He had sent me pictures of naked men and was telling me all about them. I think he thinks I’m gay.

My piss was very yellow this morning. It looked like if you melted a Calippo and poured it into the toilet.

My little siblings keep shitting in the toilet and not flushing it. Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have a girlfriend. If she ever comes to my house and wants to use the toilet and walks in on my brother’s unflushed shit, she’d leave me and never come back. I think that’s probably one of my biggest fears. Right up there with sharks and missing the bus.

It’s home clothes day today. I was worried that I had got the dates mixed up while standing at the bus stop because the other kid was in normal uniform. Turns out he was the one who got the dates mixed up. Thank God. I would hate to be the only one in school wearing home clothes.

At school, I saw a bunch of people wearing designer clothes. I don’t understand designer clothes. People only buy them for the brand, not because they actually look good. This results in them walking about and looking like an idiot. I saw this one bloke wearing a designer shirt that was just a white shirt with a logo on it. It looked like the type of shirt you’d find in a charity shop. You could get a white shirt from Primark and then get one of those iron on stickers and get the same result for a fraction of the price. That proves me right. People who wear designer clothes are idiots.

A girl called me fit. She stank of sweat. I wasn’t very flattered.

Grace looks nice by the way.

I saw someone wearing a spiky dog collar. Call it a hunch, but I think they might be a My Chemical Romance fan. Every home clothes day, there’s always those people that dress like retards.

We were supposed to bring in £1 for home clothes day to donate to Ukraine. Edward said he didn’t have £1, so he brought in a £1 book token instead. What an idiot.

I keep getting compliments about my dress style. Everyone likes my Hawaiian shirt. Maybe that’s why the sweaty girl called me fit.

One of the nerdy kids was wearing a turtleneck jumper. It made him look even more stupid. I hate turtlenecks.

All the girls were complaining they were cold. They were all wearing crop tops. I think they should check the weather before they wear crop tops on a rainy day. They didn’t even bring a coat.

I think modern fashion is stupid. The girl’s clothes look like they got pulled out of a bin. Ripped jeans and half a top. They just look broken. Boy’s fashion isn’t any more stupid. Most boys in my school wear adidas tracksuits all year round.

Saw a fat girl wearing a stripy top and trousers. She looked like a boiled sweet.

In art we had a cover teacher. The teacher put on music. I said, “Oh turn this off!” It was some sort of Egyptian music. They wouldn’t let me put on any Led Zeppelin, so I had to sit and listen to something that sounded like it belonged in the Indiana Jones movie. My ears hurt now more than ever.

The teacher walked up to me to see how I was getting on. She smelled like one of those car air fresheners.

The girl sitting next to me said she thinks I’m a robot. I think it’s because of my lack of social awareness. She should see Mark Zuckerberg. Everyone says he's a lizard.

I have a doctor appointment after school about my ears hurting. I went to go sign out at reception. The evil receptionist lady wouldn’t let me go. I was annoyed because I was in a hurry and she was being a prick. I said, “Oh fuckin hell.” She went mental. She eventually let me go. What a knobhead.

In the waiting room for the appointment, I saw a woman with her baby. The baby didn’t look real. I thought it was a doll at first. It was very pale and looked like it was made of plastic. So did the mum. I don’t know if that’s the reason she took it to the doctors though. If my child looked like that, I’d be concerned. The thing is though, she also looked like that, so maybe it’s just a family of ugly people.

A funny looking man walked out of one of the rooms. He looked like a goblin trying to be human.

It was finally my turn. The doctor said there was nothing wrong and that I have just been listening to too much music too loud. That’s a relief.

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