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That’s a hell of a mistake to make on an RS trip.

Tuesday 5th April 2022

I saw a man doing DIY in his garden while on the bus this morning. He was building a brick wall. I could tell it was DIY and that he wasn’t a professional brick layer because he was doing a really shit job. He wasn’t smoothing out the cement as it squeezed out the sides as he pressed the brick down. I’m not a professional brick layer myself, but I know that’s not how you lay bricks. You need to scrape the excess cement off the sides otherwise you just get clumps of cement sticking out everywhere. It really pissed me off. Not only that, but the entire wall was wonky. I could probably do a better job.

I was looking out of the bus window on the other side of the bus because the sun was in my eyes if I looked out of the window on my side. The girl sitting next to that window keeps staring at me though. She’s giving me some sort of evil glare. I think it’s because the thinks I’m the one staring at her because I’m looking out of the window next to her. It felt like a very awkward staring contest I wasn’t competing in. I think I won though because she was looking at me which meant the sun was in her eyes. The whole reason I was looking over to her was because I was getting sun in my eyes, but now I’ve sort of passed that issue on to her. I guess we both just got very annoyed at each other.

The desks in English are always messed up. The English department have all their meetings in our English room, so they leave the tables in a weird way. I tried getting to my table, but Chris (the fat kid) was in the way. Thought I’d write a poem about him.

“Fat, greasy, smells like fudge; Chris is so heavy, he wouldn’t budge.”

It’s quite a grey day today. It was sunny on the bus, but it was pretty grey and gloomy from then on. I thought I heard thunder in one of my lessons, but it turned out it was just a bloke pushing a wheelie bin.

At lunch, we stood around outside PE and watched the girls play netball. Don’t ask. Anyway, Edward pointed out that Cambridge University Netball Team have a really unfortunate name. CUNT. He’s got a point.

We started making jokes about what Edward would be like on drugs. Jack then told us a story about the time he went on an RS trip, and they stopped off at a petrol station. There was a dispenser in the toilets. You could put £1 in and get some mints. He said the mints tasted like shit. He handed them to his mate and told him to have a taste. It was only then that they decided to read the wrapper and realised that they weren’t mints, they were Viagra. He was wondering why they were selling food in the toilets. That is a weird place to have a sweet dispenser. That’s a hell of a mistake to make on an RS trip.

Pushed on a pull door again. I sometimes think it would be handy to be Darth Vader so that you could use the force to check if it was a push or a pull door. It would save me a lot of embarrassment.

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